Woman. Don’t withdraw your love in intimate relationships because you aren’t getting what you want. You will never get what you want with less love. You are hurting yourself. This is a very common emotional tactic that I see woman wield in partnerships to manipulate situations through emotionally closing down the love fountain of the heart and opening the bitchy never satisfied mind mode. I see subtle ways I do it sometimes. Something hurts, contract & withdraw so it doesn’t hurt more. The golden key is communication. And staying open like a blooming flower. Of course, if you are in an unhealthy relationship where your heart flower is getting neglected or trampled on, please take your precious blossom elsewhere. But a lot of the times, we can avoid more pain by staying open and speaking our truth with honesty, kindness, and maturity.
For Example:
My babe & I spent the morning working out at the climbing gym. We came home and I wanted some alone time to take a shower and get ready for the next part of the day. I locked the bathroom door, which I never normally do. He knocks at the door asking what I’m doing and says he needs something. I get super irritated and instead of communicating that I need alone time and just finished a shower, I passive aggressively open the door, hand him the floss pick and say “I’m getting ready” with bad vibes and a irritated note to my voice. I notice I feel contracted and don’t want to be around him.
I pause. I take responsibility. It’s all an internal job. I realize I’m really mad at myself for not clearly communicating! So I choose to open my heart and express what happened for me and why I was snappy and irritated. I said that I realized I never asked him to leave me alone and ASSUMED he knew that the locked door meant I wanted to be left alone. I then communicated that in the future, if the door is locked to please only knock if it’s a time sensitive thing you need. He apologized for not reading the sign. I apologized for not clearly communicating. We created a new understanding. We grew deeper in love with each other.
This seems little. But things like this build up over time if not addressed and cause bigger issues. Like a low sex drive. Definitely want to avoid that one!
No one wants to be the scorned woman. But every archetype has a message, so if she is present, see what she is trying to tell you. Most of the time it’s that your needs aren’t getting met. But the nag is not the one who is meant to get your needs met. She is the messenger. Listen to her. Thank her. Let go of the bitchy, demanding, rude, entitled nag. And empower her to be the Queen of Hearts!
Queen of Hearts
