There is someone you need to fire right now. She has got to go. She can’t work for you another second, another day. She’s been ruling for so long that we think it’s normal. Push push push never good enough pain the way we learn. The ultimate critic. The ultimate judge.
There is a voice in my head that tells me I’m never good enough. I’m never smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, not enough. I call her the dark queen.
If we don’t dethrone her, we will never know peace.
We often speak of the patriarchy as if the fallen king is alone responsible for the current imbalanced state of the world. I find that the aspect of the self that most loves to blame the patriarchy is actually the patriarchy’s cohort, the dark queen. The dark queen and the fallen king are not able to exist without each other. Root out one and you root out all.
The dark queen has unmistakable qualities. When her black crown is upon your head, it’s full of judgement, criticism, and negativity. The dark queen is never happy. Never satisfied. There is always something wrong. No matter what you do to try and please her it is never enough. She believes she is righteous in her behavior and has all sorts of reasons and indignation to back up her misery. She is the ultimate victim putting herself in a dominating and controlling “queen” role to make her feel better about her complete feeling of powerlessness to be in her radiant center. It is a false sense of power that seeks to put others down even subtly on an energetic level in order for her to feel better. It can be completely subconscious. She loves drama and thrives on it. It’s a kind of “food” and “high” that feeds her. She claims not to like it and not know why her life is so hard, but actually feeds it subconsciously. She will bring up past behaviors of injustice to validate her actions and make it all your fault. The dark queen never feels good enough in herself and projects that all around.
One of the most powerful dreams I ever had showed me this archetype. In the dream, I was in a white angelic room with light. The only thing in the room was a golden throne. I was in complete ecstatic bliss and union with divinity. My body twirling around the room in total rapture. I was so innocently overcome with love that I didn’t even notice the throne and instead sat on the floor and laid my head on the throne’s seat. Abruptly, the dark queen burst through the door in a blackened rage. “How dare you sit on my throne!” She shrieked! I jumped up startled. She pointed her hand to the ceiling and commanded poisoned mistletoe to fall from the ceiling onto my cheeks. Staining them bright red. In shame.
This also shows how deep the soul & body are interwoven. My whole life, I have only gotten sunburn on my cheeks and was very easily embarrassed getting red cheeks up into adulthood. It still happens sometimes, but now I understand the root energetic that it is trying to remind me of.
This dream showed me a deep soul split within myself that was manifesting dark queen energy in my own mind & external reality. Instead of being afraid when the dark queen arrives triggered and upset by the pure love frequency of true power that she lost, it’s up to the joyful child to not shut down her light or go into shame or be a sponge for the negativity. Instead, she must rise into the queen of light and be fierce in declaring the truth of clarity and standing up for herself.
The antidote to this pattern is to recognize where the distortion is coming from. It’s coming from a disconnection from true love. From source. I find it often relates back to the mother wound. The dark queen must remember that nothing outside of herself has more power than her connection to the divine. To not let outer circumstances effect her inner state of being. She must reclaim her devotion to the original innocence of love. If she knew she was completely taken care of and could trust life, she wouldn’t feel afraid and lash out of fear trying to control through domination.
When the dark queen arises, don’t meet her with more dark queen. That just creates more shadow. Also, don’t meet her with naive, scared child. Meet her with the light queen. The true queen. The divine mother. Who is compassionate, yet does not tolerate such behavior in her queendom. She uses her sight and voice to bring clarity and truth to distortions.
A true queen is seated in her divinity. She is in service to a vision bigger than herself. She has no need to criticize, blame, or nag. Drama is of no interest to her. She does not hold onto grudges or the past. She is nourished from her divinity and connection to source/love. She is so in her radiant center of love that she can steer others back to their center without using manipulation, blame, nagging, guilt trips, or bad vibes. She radiates truth. She sees everyone in their original innocence, yet it not naive and also sees the shadow. She illuminates the shadow with the light of her awareness and the sword of her voice in fierce kindness. She uses her words with integrity to lift curses. To heal the sick. A good mother does not abandon her children. We are never abandoned and never alone. Even in the darkest places, even in the most trying moments, we are held by the great love that sustains all things.
We must do this inside ourselves. It’s all an internal job. Truly. If you put your hand on the stove and it burns you, you are either going to turn the stove off before you touch it or avoid the stove. Don’t keep sticking your hand in over and over. So why do we do this to ourselves in life when we talk about our problems over and over. Stop wasting energy complaining or worrying about your issues and instead take that energy and change your frequency. Take action to change your reality. Be empowered.
Put that golden light halo on your head. Claim your divine inheritance. Be in the power of the love in your heart and clarity of sight. Take back the rule from the fallen king and dark queen who will forever be at war with each other. Be the light queen and risen king who love and adore each other for all infinity. The Celestial Reign has returned. The divine child born. The holy rose blooming. Holy, whole and home.
How To Stop The Dark Queen Energy~ Don’t put up with bullshit & drama. Call the dark queen out inside yourself and others. Put on your crown of light and truth. Be in the power of clarity and discernment. Don’t play nice to keep the peace. Rise in to the role of true queen. A woman in deepest service to the highest good of all. Stay in your heart purity. Speak illumination into the shadows. Play. Celebrate. Be in Gratitude. Feel the feels! Have a dance party!
How to Take off the Dark Crown~ Recognize that you are creating your reality. You are not a victim. You don’t like someone’s behavior/energy? You don’t like what’s happening around you? Stop nagging, blaming, projecting. Take action. Change something. Don’t keep perpetuating the drama. Be fed by things that uplift you, not drag you down. Watch any addiction to pain, drama, or fear and shed these toxicities from your life. Celebrate yourself and those around you. See the beauty of the magic all around you. Commit to heaven on earth inside your own body. Remember that life is a great mystery and you will never be in control. Let the divine move you. You are worthy. You are enough.
To Sum it Up:
LOVE OTHERS AS YOURSELF
LOVE THIS PRECIOUS LIFE
The dark queen is rearing her head quite loudly as I go to share this article. She’s convinced it’s not good enough and won’t help anyone 😉 I’m telling her that she is officially fired.
What. A. Relief.